NAP Pet Peeves! Ahhh!

[socalakota (deleted)]

1. People, who from states away, email you all crazy about their "just stopping by" or "just wishing you a great day!"

2. Local people who email all ecstatic about wanting to talk which gets you excited (Lol) but they never get back to you or their dialogue sucks.

3. People with no photos and/or fuzzy and crappy photos which are probably not accurate at all.

4. Fake people who say they're "native" or worse yet "indian" and try very hard to play the part but to the authentic eye they are more new age than anything!



-s

[ewo67 (deleted)]

`Well, most people here are quite relaxed - at least more than on other sites. They WANT to be nice, what some are missing is that RESPECT is more than just letters. Many just don't realize they are impolite plastics, they are interested in and attracted by the culture but their ego is quite present so they are not aware that FNP are not depending on their 'good will' and interest. White people never have been taught and explained what humble means. Of course there are many who know everything and 'ride on the new age train', exploiting the culture of FNP still and again. Yet on this site I found out, that mostly white people just don't know and behave like a bull in a china shop, not knowing what they are doing.
Sorry, guys!

[mel0872]

`Socalakota.... It takes a little courage to send a perfect stranger a message on an internet site. I reckon people genuinely mean it when thay say "have a nice day"... and "just stopping by" means hey take notice of the fact I have taken notice of you. I can understand the photo thing though, no pics or fuzzy crap photos annoy me too!!

Pet peves 2 and 4 I dont relate too lol.

I dont think the people who join NAP are missing respect ( and generally to get respect you must earn it) they are just excited and scared about what the possibilities are. Being on this site you would like to talk to a person/people who have a completely different background/lifestyle to yourself but you have a fear of sounding like a complete idiot or being regected. Although its a risk you take, how do people expect others to know anything about anything unless they have been told? Im thinking that "impolite plastics" is harsh and not everybody is out to exploit Native American culture.

[reb67 (deleted)]

`i assure everyone that i look exactly like my picture here.

besides that..just because one sees a photo of a person on a profile dosen't mean THAT IS the person you are communicating with, or a recent photo, or before they gained 100 lbs. mel0872 makes an excellent point in her post.

[shewolfe (deleted)]

`I got a petpeeve! and this happend on a site this girl was raised in the tradtional native american setting etc. she thought she was better then me just becuase i was dont have hardly any knowledge i deserve some darn respect ive respected everyone on here you know :/ i just want to be accepted on here.i have a tiny bit of native in me and iam very very proud of it. Some people can be hostile.

[reb67 (deleted)]

`shewolf, the people who mind dont matter, and the people that matter dont mind:)

[kwoo65]

`I have got to agree with Mel0872 on this one. Most people are just trying to be polite, and maybe just would like to talk with that person. Possibly they weren't aware that the other person gets irritated with long distance hellos, or weren't aware that the other person wanted booty calls, or just local conversation . We all need to be respectful to each other, whatever our ethnic backgrounds are. I, myself have made a lot of ""Native"" friends on here that do not live where I live at the moment. I have been planning to move back out West for six years now, and am going out to look at land in April. I am thankful that I have friends in different states that will show me around the area. socalakota, Sorry you have been irritated by people on this site, and I think that I was one of them that did that to you. I believe I stopped by your page to say hi because you had looked at my profile. I try to visit most people back to just say hi or thanks. Please accept my apology for the irritation. I hope that you find what you are looking for here!

[kwoo65]

`Shewolfe, You are going to get a lot of that on here. Don't let people with nasty attitudes get to you. I am mixed with white blood also, but I just don't claim to be someone that I am not. I donate and give my time to MANY of the reservations and still catch attitude from some.. Just keep yourself respectful and push on! Good luck.

[(deleted)]

`sometimes I feel the rejection here too,
if I want here people write at her mini message board,then often comes the info:
''....... is not accepting mini-messages''
For me it's harder to find a ''real''native amerivan partner,
because I live in Germany.
when i write on somebodyes mini-message bord,most of the time i just write..
a hello ,nice pics or so...too
hoping that something comes back,
and that you write each other more often.
I am shy, and would never say directly that
I'm interested on someone that i don't know.

[lakotaprincess1]

sometimes I feel the rejection here too,
if I want here people write at her mini message board,then often comes the info:
''....... is not accepting mini-messages''
For me it's harder to find a ''real''native american-partner,
because I live in Germany.
when i write on somebodyes mini-message bord,most of the time i just write..
a hello ,nice pics or so...too
hoping that something comes back,
and that you write each other more often.
I am shy, and would never say directly that
I'm interested on someone that i don't know.

[carolineishot (deleted)]

`I hate being hit on by middle aged people! I wish there were more young people on here.

[summerstorm (deleted)]

`Kudos to both sides of this mixed debate. I think miscommunication has a lot to do with misconcieved notions. Kwoo makes a valid point as well. If someone visits my page, I generally visit theirs. For the most part, if they live a good distance away I don't leave a message, or I will say something like, "hey, thx for stopping by my page", because I like to let ppl know I "noticed"...after all, I understand the apprehension in initiating a conversation and I think it's important to show that you are aware of their interest (especially if they have made a point of visiting often but haven't said anything). Rejection, I suspect, is the main reason that apprehension even exists. Distance, however, is not soley going to put me off unless it's mentioned within their profile that they are looking for someone local. After all, most ppl join dating sites to "expand" their options because they are not finding what they want close to home.

Also, I see similar stories here about white faux pas and their general romanticizing of the Native culture, however, I'd ask you to consider that those misconceptions are not going to get any better unless that general conception is tutored and corrected. I don't mind being corrected because I'm truly interested in learning. Those who take offense to correction are most likely happy living in their own world where romanticized fiction suits their need to not face reality. In which case, I can completely understand the aggitation.

Sincerely,
still learning...

[kwoo65]

`I agree, Summerstorm. You also hit on a few points that I missed. Being of mixed blood, I have been lucky enough to learn a few things from some of my Native American relatives ( and if this term offends anyone, I will gladly change it when I speak to you). But there are also many things that I DON'T know. We learn by listening, and being taught. If people are going to learn, then others don't need to chastise them, but teach them or correct them instead of spouting off. A lot of Natives on here complain about being disrespected by whites. TEACH them differently, or how are they supposed to learn. Things are different from culture to culture. And to the whites, if in doubt, just be respectful and courteous of other peoples culture. I think that a lot of us here have mixed blood, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I had no control who my parents or grand parents chose as a mate and it takes two to tango, as they say...lol

[wohelo]

`Kwoo, I agree with you. No one should lump all people together and label them. As a White person, I don't ever want to intentionally disrespect another person. I have a Native friend who loves to tease me because I am so interested in the Lakota culture. I want to learn! Wanting to learn about someone else's culture can be taken as a compliment. And what the heck is New Age? I hear that phrase over and over.

[cherrybomb3x (deleted)]

[quote="ewo67"]`Well, most people here are quite relaxed - at least more than on other sites. They WANT to be nice, what some are missing is that RESPECT is more than just letters. Many just don't realize they are impolite plastics, they are interested in and attracted by the culture but their ego is quite present so they are not aware that FNP are not depending on their 'good will' and interest. White people never have been taught and explained what humble means. Of course there are many who know everything and 'ride on the new age train', exploiting the culture of FNP still and again. Yet on this site I found out, that mostly white people just don't know and behave like a bull in a china shop, not knowing what they are doing.
Sorry, guys


I'm quite new here,and willing to learn but to say i'm 'a bull in a china shop' i find quite offensive,while yes some white people are brash and discourteous,i am not and will not be tarred with the same brush...i am here to make friend's,learn,and enjoy the Native culture...I have respect for these people..now have respect for me please...