wolfwinds
wolfwinds
Joined:
June 15, 2005
Posts: 6
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 Posted: Post subject: THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMAN TOUCH |
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Very often I see someone that I would say is starved for human contact- specifically touch. They may be single, in a relationship or even married. There is a great deal of research indicating that something as simple as holding hands or a back rub can decrease anxiety and even lesson anxiety related physical disorders.
Couples often become distant and forget to kiss each other hello and good-bye or to hold hands. I will typically query the couples I see about how much physical contact they actually have with one another and more often than not find that couples in crisis have stopped the simple everyday kind of touch that is crucial to a relationship. Please keep in mind that I am not referring to sex, but to the simple familiar caresses that occur between individuals.
When training volunteers for service in nursing homes people are instructed to hold hands (when appropriate) and even do gentle shoulder massage. Too often elderly people go without touch if they live far away from family or if their loved ones are not demonstrative. There are noticeable changes in mood and even health when they have exposure to simple human kindness in the form of touch.
People have different levels of comfort with public displays of affection which is usually the result of their experience in their family of origin and/or their feelings about their own body. I do not recommend that people put themselves in an uncomfortable situation but instead try to be aware of what it feels like when someone gives you a hug or when your partner does something as simple as put his or her arm around you.
From the very moment we are born we crave touch. It is the beginning of how we build self-esteem and how we begin to understand feelings of attachment. Children want to be held for comfort, to feel safe, and to know they are loved. Even adults show increased self-esteem when they have regular physical contact (again, in this article I am referring to non-sexual contact) with another trusted person. Touching is a way to increase intimacy and can be extremely grounding.
Try to be aware of your own desires and behaviors around touch. Talk to your partner about the subject and, if you feel it is something lacking in your life, make an effort to change. Spontaneously hold hands with your mate or give a hug that lasts longer than usual. Try to make sure that you have some sort of physical contact every day. You may be surprised by the positive results you will see from this type of change.
Piaowaka C. Windwolf |
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