the hardest post to write.

[reb67 (deleted)]

we lost our son early this week. the hardest thing for me is deep deep regret and thats the foundation of my own mourning. and iam ONLY posting this to prevent even one person from going through this..that would be so worth it.
my son was a beautiful human being and was an amazing life..which i had only a small part of. shortly after his birth i developed and alcohol problem..that problem resolved but my guilt never did and because of that i refused contact. i always thought that SOMEDAY i would have the right words to say to him. someday it would be the right time to say how sorry i was and how i never stopped thinking of him. now i will have to accept that that someday will be at his gravesite in the state he was born and lived and died in. i will go there on what would have been his 25th birthday in november.( i could not attend the funeral, my hopes and dreams of how it would be when i finally seen him again.. my mind canNOT wrap around it being his own funeral.)
his father did an amazing job and gave him a wonderful life. he always thought that accidents with firearms was out of ignorance and that if you teach a child young how to respect and handle them properly then accidents wont happen. but young men are young men and feel immortal to a degree. and accidents happen. No one is to blame, this is just a terrible accident.

what i would like to say is that if you have been out of a childs life, and guilt is keeping you out please dont wait for someday. it is hard i know, but just have some quiet and wriet the letter. tell them they weren't out of your thoughts and heart. tell them how you feel. maybe they will understand (and probably will) and maybe they wont...at least you will know you have said your peace and tried. please..for thier sake and yours dont wait til it all has to be said from your heart at the place they are laid to rest forever.

i know the site owners here dont appreciate when people post and delete..but i feel if i had spent my time writing where it truly mattered, instead of blips on line. maybe there wouldn't be so much left unsaid.

love to you all and be safe.

[feedback]

Our deepest condolences for your loss!

If your post makes even one person stop and think, and maybe change the direction of their life (even a little), then it has helped.

Again, so sorry to hear of your loss!

[2sweet2b4got10]

`I'm sorry for your loss..