My Mother and me

[chumani67_PREV (deleted)]

She was, without doubt, pure beauty..beyond compare
with bronzed skin and beautiful long dark hair
A statuesque woman with deep dark eyes
and a quiet laugh you see
My gaze upon her filled me with awe and she was
a Goddess to me.
And almost overnight an unfamiliar twisted face
replaced her gentle beauty
Cross-tops, quaaludes, cocaine and LSD
All conspired hard to take my mother and her love
far away from me.

Travelling through Western States
moving every other month was nothing new
But whether you're running from men, the police or yourself
Any excuse will do.
At 17 my Grandfather gone
The only love I ever known
I walked away from my family.. deciding it couldn't be any worse
to just be on my own
Fourteen years not a word had passed
not even by mail or telephone-
Until I became a mother myself
and had a daughter of my very own.
Hardened still I could not feel
any love to her from me
Mother was still a word to curse
a pure profanity.

Then a meeting by chance set up by my aunt
a cold chill ran between my mother and me
as I turned my back there was a touch on my hand and a soft voice
"Please,
please love me"
I faced a woman older and gray
with deep dark eyes looking sadly my way.
And then I knew what was always true
who the woman was standing before me
She's the giver of life,
keeper of grace and unparralled transformation
My own Destiny.

[(deleted)]

`This really touched me Cami, I know what it is like to be alienated from your mother, but with out her there would be no you.. I am sure your mom has deep regrets for the things she has done, and no way can she ever change that!So she lives in her own world a pain that she can never get rid of. Every time she sees your face she remembers.Drugs will take you places and have you do things that you would never do in your right mind. I would think your mom was trying to kill something deep in side her and that is way she used..

The best part of all this is you! You came from total dysfunction, but you are not like that! You love your children and you are a good mother.
You are also a best friend..
I am glad you found a peaceful balance between your mother and you..

YOU FOUND THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF NOT A CLONE, NOT AN EXPECTATION.
BE UNIQUELY YOURSELF.THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU....

[chumani67_PREV (deleted)]

`life is weird. you can swear to self to NOT love someone, need them...bury it under years of anger and still find that you have to give into love afterall.

(**I have wondered though, how the other kids I met along the way living similarly some in the communes or San Fransisco and Seattle warehouses, Greyhound and whatnot--I AM serious..what became of them. If they are alive and happy?)

[chumani67_PREV (deleted)]

`I just want to say..in case any see and there strikes a familiarity here...you were loved and not forgotten.

Peace and Goodnight!