just being yourself

[babs310]

serioulsy why is it so difficult to find someone who likes you for you and accepts you for you with no hidden agenda's why do people make meeting and possible releationships so hard? ... im not sure i get it

BARBRA

[loveaura83 (deleted)]

`I am not so sure I get it either. Maybe people are so afraid of getting hurt that they would rather hurt someone else first.

The other reason, people can be selfish. And, LAZY!!! They don't want to bend to make room for anyone in their lives.

I am going to be myself and doing that should draw the right person to me. Or I hope.. I am 24 and have 2 kids and he still hasn't found me.
I think im gonna hit the rez with post it notes and a pen and just get a bunch of numbers from guys and hopefully one will work out.. jk.

[magz (deleted)]

.I agree and I have been guilty of doing what you said. I don't mean to be that way and I am working on it. I like your idea about the post it notes. I hope and pray you find the right one, for you and your children. Take care and God bless.

[ravenwoman_PREV (deleted)]

`I've done just the opposite... I have done all the bending and wound up broken in two... which is why I am here for friends only LOL.. I cant do it anymore... not so flexible in my old age

[(deleted)]

`I have to admit that when I read the comment about "post-it notes and a pen", I started laughing really hard. I am still snickering while typing this comment.
There is no easy answer. It seems that most guys are looking for that one true love; but, they want young, skinny and almost brainless. I did type "most guys". Why does society put that burden on us women to be skinny? I like my curves and I want to keep them; but, I don't want to be labeled as 'fat' because I have the curves of a woman. I guess that is another topic of discussion.
Back to the original subject... I have to agree that people are afraid of getting hurt and really don't put alot into a relationship. Or maybe there is a hidden agenda of "loving the one you're with" until they find what they really want. It is so complex and different for each person that it is hard to define.
But, being yourself... and being true to yourself... is the most important thing.

[ravenwoman_PREV (deleted)]

`I've noticed many guys say "no baggage" I wonder if they are baggage free? Not to beat up on them.. just curious if they can offer baggage free life or if they are just hoping their baggage will be all there is... seems sort of unrealistic to me

[hagalaz (deleted)]

.When a man says 'no baggage', what he's really saying is 'I'm not ready for responsibility'. take this with a grain of salt; do you really want to be with a man like that? it's up to you.

[ravenwoman_PREV (deleted)]

`Oh that's for sure! I read profiles and find so many incredible expectations. Be young, be slim, be attractive, be baggage free, be intelligent, be perfect. I wish em luck.

[maggers2240 (deleted)]

I so agree. If you've been on this planet for any length of time, you'll accumulate baggage. That's just a fact. It's what you do with that baggage that counts. Do you drag it around and leave it out for everyone to trip over? Or do you deal with your stuff as you live and grow and either toss it or pack it away neatly in the laundered section of your baggage, and then put your baggage back up in the attic.

I mean, come on, baggage means history, and we all have histories. Stories. It's what life and living is all about.

I guess it's head cases people want to avoid, and I can understand that.

I've recently come back into the world of dating after taking some needed time off. I'm finding this internet world of meeting and greeting to be .... well... so very different from what I was used to. I guess I need to get used to it 'cause this is it. We're in the 21st century and this is how folks get together, it seems.

How do you assess someone, though, based on a few words and a photo?

[ravenwoman_PREV (deleted)]

`I came here to find friends. I find men dont want to talk to me because I am not "something really hot". Pity that folks cant just get to know one another before it goes "really hot". But... I guess this is modern life. *shrug* I have seen so many "really hot" relationships turn icy really fast... I just want something that stays warm... LOL... but I dont figure that is going to happen... so I look for friends instead. Talk about LOWERED expectations LOL

[hagalaz (deleted)]

`I think simply keeping yourself open to whatever comes your way is a wonderful approach, rather than a lowering of expectations.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst is what I constantly say. There are no expectations.

[dragonfang21]

`That kind of sucks when guys have this whole skinny hot and perfect expectation bc it leaves all girls in constant paranoia if you say because then they constantly are worrying if they are good enough, small enough pretty enough....and loooks are not everything there are alot of people out their that are some of the best people you could know or be in a relationship with but are always looked past bc they dont stand up to par..... that is also why i am hear for friends because iused to be chubby and then one day i decided to take care of myself and become more active instead of sitting around and low and behold i started to see theoutcome of what happens when you become small... all of a sudden out of nowhere the guys that looked past you start to look and talk to you (welll attempted bc yeah i didnt let it happen) and slowly i saw that their initial reaction was based off what they first saw of me... yeah no before you can enjoy what i have you best get to know a lady first and actually be real about it.......... wow good subject i could go off in soo many directions with this....it seems like guys just want a sexy ---- something they can brag about show off ( to a certain extent that is ok to show someone off but thats not the point ) etc... and it sucks also bc most of the attractive guys are the @ssh*les persay and seem to only care about themselves and their image/satisfaction and REMEMBER I SAID MOST ATTRACTIVE GUYS... because some "unattractive" guys or guys that would be looked past are horrible too and i know this from experience 3 times. no matter who you talk to or date how they look does not mean they are perfect... its almost like a gamble haha i dont know hard to explain basically you more or less take a chance everytime bc most peoples true self ( that is if they are stretching the truth for some reason) come out later on down the road... ............ i think that was off subject anyways..ummm maybe i should start over lol?

[hagalaz (deleted)]

`Well, I gotta say this. Skinny, does not necessarily entail pretty. There are many men out there who love a woman with curves. I personally am a woman with curves; i have 44 hips, 34 waist, and a 36H bust, needless to say, I have hgad my share of men, and women. I've always been heavy, and I doubt it will ever change as because of a hip deformity, and my abnormally large bust I can't run. Given, I did do hardcore weight training my senior year of highschool, and set records, but that only adds muscle mass on, it doesn't eliminate the body fat that cardiovascular excersize does for you. anywhoo, all that to say, i know from experience, curvy girls are just as beautiful in their own way. and yes, curvy entails pudgy, fat, chunky, husky, and big :P

[metisarch_PREV (deleted)]

`Hi Friends, well, I know from experience what I like. It is not an age, ethnicity, or genetic issue. I have some cousins who love thick women, some of them are really good people, while others, look out (lol). I think people need to keep an open mind, there is no one out there that can fit all of anyones expectations, but it is important that folks be honest about who they are. Because, in the end, it does boil down to who the person is, as opposed to just the outside package.

Have you ever noticed that the stereotypical good looking women is also the same women who dated everyone (lol).........

All I can say is hang in there, even some very outside attractive women, and men are single. There is forms of prejudice that is against all people, whether it be for someone being heavy, a certain skin color or their features, gender, nationality.

Most of the men who think they are going to get some model are cheating them self, as are women who look past good guys.

I do run into lots of ego, whether it be men or women, and sad, that as Natives it has come to this in this day and age. Shocks me, the more traditional individuals are these days, the more likely they will be abused from inside and from without.

Men do normally look at the outside first. However, like i wrote above, the key is who you are inside in the end. While as one person wrote above, seems like men do not want to get to know yaw, just want s#x. True to some extent, but there are many men who would enjoy the chance to know someone and to be intimate, inside and out. So, all I can say, is hang in there, keep positive and one day someone may arrive.

If they do not, enjoy your life, life is too short to always be worried about a relationship or the theoretical one people make up in their minds, or the theoretical person they think they them self are in their profile (lol).

So why, people are messed up, but it does not mean that we must also accept the negative and wear it and punish ourselves for what is outside ourself and our control.

[ravenwoman_PREV (deleted)]

`Very nicely said metisarch!!! *applause* take a bow!!! =o)