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Brain Cell Shortage

 
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ifeather1922_PREV
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Posted:     Post subject: Brain Cell Shortage

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and
are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm
while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.
__________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at

all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years
__________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

_______________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in

voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?


WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....
___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

___________________________________________________________________



ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

___________________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing

an autopsy on him!

___________________________________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

___________________________________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check

for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when

you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law

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