ifeather1922_PREV
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![]() Posted: Post subject: It would sure be nice..... |
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1)If birth control would come in ale or lager.
2)If Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
3)On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day too.
4)St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
5)If garbage would take itself out.
6)If instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
7)If when a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".
8)If people would never talk about how fresh they felt.
9)If Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
10)If every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
11)If telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
12)If it would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
13)If instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
14)If the funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
15)If "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
16)If At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
17)If Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
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