shelskye
shelskye
Joined:
January 7, 2012
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Post subject: I always knew I was different.... |
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As a small child, all I ever wanted was to be outside in the forest! With my best friend, my dog, we would spend all day exploring the forest floor, talking with the birds and squirrells... laying in the leaves and staring up at the sky... bringing home what I believed to be the most glorious treasures on earth. Small stones that called to me, feathers, polished pebbles from the brook... and everyone called it my forest junk.And no one understood . And so I grew up apart from the other kids, but never lonely. I had all the friends one could ask for in the forest. It cradled me and held me, soaked up my tears as I lay curled up on her moss, gave me branches to swing from and wonderful towering limbs to climb. The forest creatures were my confidants,my brothers, and we shared all kinds of secrets!
As I grew older I always knew I was different and I never could understand how anyone could not see the world through my eyes... How could anyone use and abuse and take for granted all the gifts we were given!? And in my heart I could feel the crying of the wounded and lost souls, and I cried with them.One only had to look at the sunsets, the rising of the mist over the lake in the morning, hear the morning music of the birds at dawn, and the day is turning to night song of the crickets to know the truth... What a beautiful, magical song filled world we lived in... and nobody else could hear it. Nobody else could see it and nobody understood.
I am older now, and at least now I understand...
About 30 years ago, at a fair, I was walking past a silver vendor when I was stopped dead in my tracks from a spirt that called to me. It was a small charm with a howling wolf on it and I just had to have it, it's spirt was that strong. It took all the money in my pocket but I did not care. I had to have it... and since that day I have never taken it off. My brother the wolf has given me strength and courage to face the challenges that have stood before me, and together we still stand... but I never understood why my wolf, all wolves, illicited such a strong reaction within me.
I spoke with my mother a month ago and now I believe I understand and this is what I was told, as she was told by her mother,and her mother before her, and her mother before her. I am Indian, a Native American, and though I may not be full blodded, what does that matter!? For I am 100% Native American , where it matters most!!!!! My heart. And I am told I am decended from The Wolf Clan of the Lenape. My ancestors are from South Eastern NY state, near the Hudson River and one of my Grand Fathers married an Indian woman of the Wolf Clan and they raised their family in New York. Now I understand me and my own personal code of ethics, my honesty, my integrity, for it mirrors all that was taught hundreds of years ago... and it does still live, for it lives in me and it lives through me and my spirt has never forgotten the honor of the old ways.
In the coming months I will do as much research on my history as I can, but in all honesty, I know in my heart where my roots are, for they are firmly planted in our Mother Earth, and my spirt soars with Father Sky, and my heart rests with Brother Forest... and I am a Very Very PROUD NATIVE AMERICAN who has come home at last!!!!!
"Native American isn't blood; it is what is in the heart. The love for the land. The respect for it,those who inhabit it; and the respect and acknowledgement of the spirts and the elders.That is what it is to be Indian"
White Feather
Navajo Medicine Man |
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painthorse23
(deleted)
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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`Hi,nice story.It sounds lil bit like mine.i know how it is to be an outsider or loner.to feel the racism here in germany also.i was raised up by my elders till they died and after that nobody wants me.back to my mom but not really welcome,they cut my hair,gaged in room and much more.now am old,lol,and now i understand all.sometimes i feel like the old song half breed from cher.its sad if you feel also that you are living on the wrong place.i do my search now by ancestry and find out family ground in fort berthold 1914 and south dakota 1916,we will see whats going on.
so walk tall like me and follow your heart,cos thats the only thing that nobody can take you away.
blessings Tina
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