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cottonwoods
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![]() Posted: Post subject: An *nalytical dictionary for online dating!! A must-read! |
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# DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is S-- all you ever think about?
11. I'm h---- = i need a favour
# DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have S-- now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have S-- with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have S-- with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to
# for the women who want more than humour...today, i baked a cake...from scratch!!
WHAT A Guy THINKS WHEN HE READS YOUR PROFILE!!!!!!!!
1. 45 and open to having kids/undecided.....your nuts!
2. spontaneous..............has slept with everyone.
3. outgoing.................loud and embarrassing.
4. Athletic.................not an egg on stilts.
5. Average body.............fat.
6. meet for coffee..........boring, who wants to get hit with a mop at a 1st meeting
7. no picture...............something to hide/low self esteem.
8. blank profile............I will pass you by.
9. emotionally secure.......pathological liar.
10. wants soul mate..........stalker.
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skabay
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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`Hey whats up in Native country hmmm gotta look for my bow-arrows so I go hunting for some white "EYE"....lol or lets go to BINGO boi!!!!!!lol or pick up some bannock and have it crunchy,,,hehehehe..bye
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cottonwoods
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![]() Posted: Post subject: |
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ikwé waiâbishkiwed aawi aapidendi
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skabay
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`lol.........gesszzzzzzzzzz cotton you freak me out don,t say those things to me in my language,,,,,,,,creepyyyyyyyyyyyy,,,,,,,,,,,Lol...:)
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myspiritsky
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`too funny and insanely correct lol! ~
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multisport
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`1.) Fun Flings- They must like Bungee Jumping and Roller Coaster rides! I'm Game! 2.) friends ---- --------- I have Auto and Life Insurance! 3.) Something Really Hot- Would you prefer Cocoa or tea? 4.) Wanna meet(meat) now!- Would you like filet mignon or buffalo? 5.) Player!- Baseball! Gambling! Football! etc. etc. 6.) Booty Call!- I have never looked or hunted for Pirates Treasure! Ask Johhny Depp! Aye Aye Mates!
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cottonwoods
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@ ska & multisports
^5
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multisport
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`Total Bachelor/Husband Slacker - Womens Version 1) Taking out the trash is too hard! 2) Eats Corn flakes for dinner! 3) Micro-waves his food! 4) Passes out in the chair, TV on, and can't make it to the bed! 5) Wears the same clothes day in & day out and falls to sleep in them! Then continues to wear them the next day! 6) Turning on the dish washing machine is his share of doing the dishes! 7) Knows every game show and soap opera on TV past and present! Owns a Beer holding helmet that has hoses connected to it! 9) Has a t-shirt that says "Retired" on it! 10) The only six pack he has is Budweiser!
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iztaccihuatl12
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`This is funny!!! Do you have some more? I love that!.........so I can learn this in english.... :-D
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iztaccihuatl12
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`Ooohhh I have one!...:
Marriage minded + slimer = I dont care who you are, but I need you to get in your land/get out from my land....I also bring 10.000$.....
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cerulean
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`
UPGRADE BOYFRIEND 5.0 TO HUSBAND 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules,limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Hot-sex 1.0 and
Romance 9.9
but installed undesirable programs such as Football 5.0and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,but to no avail.
Desperate Wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Desperate Wife,
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command:
C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw
1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In sum, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend
HotFood 3.0,
Lingerie 5.3
and
Keep-a-nice-body 10.1
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