A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker

[(deleted)]

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker are captured by a
fierce tribe. The chief approaches them and says, "The bad news
is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you and
then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you
get to choose how you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some
poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives
him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the
queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but
he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork
and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the
chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's
horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you
doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and laughs, "So much
for your canoe!"

[blackfootedgirl]

`Priceless!!

[zoupi]

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker catch a Native Chief of Tribe. As ransom :

The Frenchman asks "give me your tomatoes, your patatoes and your corns for the glory of the French cuisine"

The Englisman asks "give me your gold and your land for the glory of the queen"

The New Yorker asks "give me your tokens to play at the Casino for the glory of the US dollar"

ET toc ! :P

[straighteyes (deleted)]

`Something about corporations:
An american corporation: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce milk for four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A german corporation: You have two cows. You reengeneer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
A british corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad.
An italian corporation: You have two cows.You don´t know where they are.
A russian corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

[squinto (deleted)]

`you see that Indian?
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"

"Yeah," says the other cowboy.

"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"

The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."

[blackfootedgirl]

straighteyes wrote: `Something about corporations:
An american corporation: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce milk for four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A german corporation: You have two cows. You reengeneer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
A british corporation: You have two cows. Both are mad.
An italian corporation: You have two cows.You don´t know where they are.
A russian corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.



This one goes on for some time, I laughed till I cried. If you want I can send you the whole one if you don't have it.

[straighteyes (deleted)]

`hi blackfootedgirl, tried to write an email but was not possible because of your email settings. I would like to have the rest.. never heard that there is more.. I only got this few lines....TY

straighteyes

[blackfootedgirl]

straighteyes wrote: `hi blackfootedgirl, tried to write an email but was not possible because of your email settings. I would like to have the rest.. never heard that there is more.. I only got this few lines....TY

straighteyes



I will check my settings, I have friends from the UK that get through. That corporation joke only gets funnier. I will try to find it.