Navajo Hataalii's (Healers)

[chumani67_PREV (deleted)]

Clownway..I understand what you are saying, but hey..we know that the "white" IS used as a curse word now. And the whys on that I believe is understood by whites and natives alike. Thats why most "whites" take it and dont really respond. My own deal with this is...as you said a lot of native children and their families were ripped apart by the "white" governing entities..until recently too. My own grandfather and his brother were victims of that themselves...thats where my own delimma is. What about those that were taken and put for adoption in white homes and assimilated into white culture..married white people..and what about those children? Now my grandfather passed from alcoholism (a quiet, caring hard working man) while I was still a teen and in my own dramas so I missed being able to speak much with him about how he was affected by this all. I really only thought much on it fairly recently when my aunt was delivered to my door one night by a local couple who found her drunk in a snowbank..this is a small town so by morning everyone knew..when I went to the grocery store I was asked how she was doing and then the comment was made (jokingly of course) how it was "okay" as they understood it was that "Indian Blood". So I understood then very well that we were viewed to be "different". That started with me a search...and I found a lot of rejection quite honestly. Now I have heard about this sympathy over the Native children that were taken...but how in the hell are thier decendants to feel as they are caught as well. See???? I am telling you...being mixed is no fun at all.

**I have in me, a desire to go to my Grandfathers grave and be able to say, "I did it..I brought you home.." but I dont know how because the door is nailed shut.

[(deleted)]

I wanted to reply to this as it seems that what I'm requesting is veiwed as an honorable thing but also as something seen as a negative due to the ethnicity I was born. I could not chose that, nor could I choose the spirit that was put inside me. Understand that when I say the outside may be white but that the heart and spirit are Native that I am showing enough respect to myself and others to be honest with myself and anyone else I may encounter in this life. I'm not looking to be something I'm not. Please do not assume that. It is not easy to be so different on the inside than what is on the outside. THere has been a lot of confusion and pain in the past as I did not understand what was going on inside. THere was no one around to talk to and explain what lives in me. I felt so terribly alone and sometimes still do Again I could only go by what was told to me in visions or dreams. I very much want to understand what I've seen and experienced. I don't want to get anything wrong. There has been a comment that suggests I'm trying to escape something, trying to run away. This is not the case. Nor is it that I do not take some sort of pride in where I come from. Please understand there is no anger in my words, at the moment I'm trying to get people to see what's going on inside. I am not trying to escape anything. Merely trying to return to and honor what lives in my heart and spirit. I cannot deny the pull I feel, the things I've seen, felt, or heard anymore than a salmon could deny it's instinct to swim upstream. I have only asked people to take a moment and look inside me to look past the skin and into my heart, my spirit. Yet the skin is all that is seen. I do understand that and cannot blame the many elders who would only see the skin and therefore hesitate or outright refuse to teach and share these very special things with me. I understand that the wounds are still fresh in regards to the boardingschool days, as well as the other inhuman and cruel things that went on in history. I am striveing to educate myself on this, whether it's reading or talking to my Native friends, I am makeing an effort, and always learning more in terms of history. I also know there is much I do not know or understand but am trying to. Please understand that I do not seek this way in order to take something away, or to take just enough so as to twist things and make a profit. THat is not my way. I am not all those who did or continue to do wrong, and would never do anything to hurt or take advantage of the Native American people. I have too much love in my heart and respect for the Native American people to show or offer anything but those things. THe reason I put out the call on this site is that I feel there are none in my area who can teach me. THis was the only way I could get it out. I do understand it may be taken wrong, that many would likely see it as a person either looking to profit, somone who just wants to play indian for a while, or more recently another unhappy person looking to escape something. Again none of those are me. I'm trying to do what has been asked of me by the spirits and that is all. The knowledege would not be kept away from anyone Native or otherwise who genuinly with all their heart and spirit feels the call and wants to learn. I probably could have cleared that up a bit and I am sorry for any misunderstanding on that front. I understand so much is taught while a child is growing up, but I was not born to those who could expose me to those teachings. I am sorry that I do not have the knowledge needed, and that I was not born into a Native family. Still, I want to learn, and am more than willing to take the time to learn, and work at things everyday. If I do not understand something I'll wait to see if it is explained but if not, at the end of the day, I will ask if I am unsure about something. I would never meddle in something I had no knowledge of. It seems I have written a great deal, and hope that things are understood better. It is not easy to be the way I am. I'm doing the best I can with what has been given. I feel/know with all my heart and spirit that I am on the right path. I know those who will teach me will come. I know they will come when the time is right. Anyway I appreciate the time everyone has taken to read what I've said. THere is probably more I could say but for now will stop here. Please if ther is any misunderstanding, or questions I'll be happy to answer them and clear things up.

[(deleted)]

`What about that side of things too? THank you Chumani67:)

[(deleted)]

clownway wrote: ` easyy hugger.. lol..! I wasn't taking anybody to the "whipping post" I was just simply saying that traditional natives (especially elders) are not so quick to just teach anybody their ways, theres still a lot of mistrust of "white" people in the elders... you know many of them were ripped from their homes as children and forced to go to a boarding school, forced to cut their hair and forbidden to speak their language, forced not to pray to the land, but to open a bible. And all that was happening in the 40's and 50's and even in the 60's... so you can't blame them for not wanting to teach these people sometimes. And I call them white cause that how we identify our selfs to the 4 directions... we honor all people in the 4 directions.. White, Black, Red, and Yellow, each color representing a direction, a story, and a season. So when I call someone a color, I'm not saying to insult you... I'm saying it because I honor you, rather your from the Red Nation, White Nation, Black Nation, or Yellow Nation, we are all human and are all a part of the sacred hoop, standing proud in our direction, our heritage, and our teachings.



I understand exactly what you say, as I came from the era when it wasn't " the in thing to be native" and my whipping post is not directed at you.

[(deleted)]

`I still say if you have this calling go find it in your own people , don't try to take from the Natives.If it was meant for you to know Native teachings then you would have been born Native.
Your people have a rich background why do you not investigate them? Maybe your dreams are coming from your ancestors!! I understand the Native Beliefs are more attracting to you, but you do have your own culture.
How many more books need to be written by someone learning Native ways and then writing a book for monetary gain?


BUT MY BIG ISSUE HERE IS THE USE OF WHITE THROWN AROUND LIKE IT'S A SIN TO BE WHITE. SAYING WHITE IS A RACIAL SLUR NOW . IF YOU ARE NOT PROUD OF YOUR OWN WHITE ANCESTORS THERE ARE YELLOW AND BLACK FOR YOU TO TAP INTO.THEY TOO HAVE SPIRITUAL BELIEF, BUT I GUESS THEY ARE NOT IN VOGUE..

[chumani67_PREV (deleted)]

`Poo....I guess there goes the dream of being Grasshopppah as I am not Asian

[clownway]

`chumani. I dont doubt you. I know what your saying and can relate, I've been to ceremonies in SD and when I entered a town a sign outside the store said "no dogs or indians allowed" I'm mixed as well, I'm French, Navajo, and Ottawa. And they do clash but I honor all my colors. And I'm not saying that I agree with how these things are (as far as Natives not wanting Whites to learn these ways) but it's how it is. I'm simply explaining how it works and how its seen through the old ones eyes. They teach us from when we're very little to not trust them... that the beligana (which means "Caucasians" in Navajo... not white) hurts people and steals. Which I know its not true, but I cant blame them for thinking that way. And thats all I'm saying.

We're all one under the sun..!

[clownway]

`horses06. I will tell you this sister. Pray. I think good things will come, but remember to extremely humble in whatever you do, and be patient. Look into the teachings in your heart and keep in mind that its your spirits from your people that guide you. Always. And that you have time... lots and lots of time.

[(deleted)]

`LOL Chumani67:) Very funny!! THank you for your support. Sorry to see you go though. First off there is no anger in my tone. Mild frustration perhaps but not anger. Anyway Huggeroftrees I am sorry you feel that is what I'm doing. It is not my intent to take anything away from anyone. However, I cannot deny what lives in my spirit. Please do not assume that I'm out to take, or that I have not investigated my people or other ways. It's been a long road to get to where I am now. I looked at many traditions yet none of them fit where it matters the most: my heart and my spirit. Perhaps if you took the time to get to know me you could understand where I come from better. Rather than assume that I did not take the time to look at things, that I have no pride in where I come from, or that I try and run from myself/my people. My path goes a different direction and my veiws are not the same is all. Anyway I understand you follow an Eastern tradition, so your telling me that because I was not born Native I cannot know these things is contradictory. If so it would mean you weren't allowed to know the teachings of the spirituality you follow as you are not Asian. As for my dreams and visions, if I am seeing ancesters then I am fullblood Native, as I never see any people of any ethnicity other than Native Americans. Let alone my blood ancesters. Please I don't want to hear some remark about what I just said I'm makeing a point with that, not labeling myself as anything. You know it has nothing to do with what's more attractive or what's in vogue as you put it. I am very sorry you think I am like those who act that way. I am not doing this because I think it's cool or out of some romantic delusion. You followed your heart and spirit when you found the tradition you live. Why can you not see this is where my heart my spirit has led me and that all I want to do is follow that, be true to that, and honor that? I have no hidden agendas, no desire to pillage anything then sell it to the highest bidder or write yet another useless book in order to cash in on something and rip a people off. THose who do so have no honor in them. Again do not assume to know what is in my heart or spirit. Let alone attempt to affix your reasons onto me as to why I go this path. Do not presume to know me, or think I chose this way out of frivolity. I do not think it is sin to be whatever race a person was born into. But you cannot understand what it's like to have what's outside not match what's on the inside. Again if you or anyone else would like to take the time to get to know me on a one on one basis then I welcome that. If not I'm truely sorry. It is late so I'll end here for tonight.

[(deleted)]

`THank you clownway. No I would never be anything other than humble or greatful when the time comes. I'm not one to be anything other than that. If it is my spirits from my people, then why are all the people I see Native, and why are all the themes Native? As far as I know there is no Native blood in the family. Why only Native people and themes? Especially before I started to
go in the direction I'm going now? Just curious? Good night all:)

[(deleted)]

`FIRST OF ALL HORSE06 NEVER TELL ME NOT TO RESPOND, IF YOU PUT MY NAME IN A POST I WILL RESPOND...
I am not a Buddhist, but I had a a stepmother who was Japanese and was a Buddhist so I learned a lot of things from her, also I read on all kids of different subjects. I do like knowledge..

FYI. You do not have to be Asian to be a Buddhist. But I believe you need to be Native to practice Native beliefs.
Your ancestors have a rich background go be what you are and stop trying to be what you are not. You can read all the Native books, but in the end you are still not Native.
If you want to know anything about me ask don't go behind my back and email my friend asking questions.
This is not the place for you to ask for an Elder to teach you.. What you think one is sitting on the sidelines waiting for you?

Listen to Clownway as he says it's the spirits from your people that guide you

That is all I have to say on this subject.. have a nice day!!!I am Wahkontah

[voluptuousnomad_PREV (deleted)]

`Clownway...you are alright. ..you are obviously doing your best to make your point without hurting feelings and thats respectable

[clownway]

`Its like I told someone once before..

"Until you know your own peoples teachings, storys, traditions and medicine...you will not understand your dreams."


Aho.. and that in itself is a Native teaching.

So Pray... understand yourself, and learn what silence is.
Learn Patience... If your dreams continue to call you, let them call... if they are good they will not leave you, and opportunity will come. Do not rush.

you will do good things..! :)

[clownway]

`voluptuousnomad- Thank you..! I try to speak softly... and make friends... that is all, everyones word should be respected.

[voluptuousnomad_PREV (deleted)]

`you bet!!..and how true.