Online Dating Rules

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

Exactly! That's a really good point to ask how a person feels about their previous relationships.

When I am getting to know a woman, I sure do not want to hear her constantly complaining about her past boyfriends. It shows she is still in those relationships. Even though she hates them, they are all she can think of. And it shows she is not ready for a new relationship.

Being at peace with past relationships does not mean you have to be friends. It just means there is no emotional attachment on the relationship level.

On Facebook, I once saw a woman post something like, "I keeping meeting one Mr. Wrong and another! When am I going to ever meet Mr. Right?"

The truth is, she never will because basically told on herself. She said she keeps meeting one Mr. Wrong after another. And the reason she keeps attracting them is because she is Miss Wrong.

You are what you attract, and you attract what you are! Like attracts Like

:)

[loveternal (deleted)]

`I saw another photo on Facebook that stated, "I dont get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my mother taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate."

This statement reveals that the woman still has feelings for her ex. It might be hatred and anger, but those are still valid emotions showing an attachment to the ex. And as long as she has any kind of emotional attachment to someone from her past, she is still in a relationship with that ex. In the beginning of that relationship, it was probably focusing only on happiness. And now its on the flip side, and the happiness is merely replaced with hatred, but there is still a connection to the ex there. Meanwhile, maybe the ex has moved on in a healthy way. So this means the woman is in a relationship with an illusion.

When you truly are at peace with your past, you have no desire to waste your time making such stupid comments.

[loveternal (deleted)]

I agree with your "Like attracts Like" statement. But that has to be maintained and nurtured by both partners in the relationship. It could start wonderful, but later one may fall from grace, so to speak for whatever reason.

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

When you go through difficulties, as long as you learn from them and make the best of the situation, you will receive the blessings of knowledge, peace and wisdom. And in addition to those blessings, you sometimes receive something extra-special, like a new partner. It is almost as if that new partner was waiting for you to come through that previous experience.

[loveternal (deleted)]

Yes. It is like everything that happened to you in your life has led you to your new partner. It shows what amazing things can happen when two nice, emotionally healthy people come together, regardless of their skin color or culture or language.

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

`Yes, this is true! In 2014, I was in a relationship and I was living my life as good as I could. And then she suddenly ended it, as she had changed. But her change was not a good one. I was angry and hurt and scared all at the same time. It was a rough time, but I had to express those emotions without hurting anyone, including myself. Then I brought in my mind and started to see what I could learn from that experience and to make the best of my new situation. I had to move several times before things started to settle.

So that experience did not throw me off my life-path. It just stopped me for a while so I could learn something and receive peace, wisdom and knowledge as blessings. And as I was beginning to receive those blessings, I saw that I was still on my path but further ahead than I thought.

[loveternal (deleted)]

`That is a really beautiful way to see it, and I believe it is the truth. :)

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

Coming to peace with your past difficulties helps you to maintain that peace by learning from current and future difficulties

[loveternal (deleted)]

Yes, and when emotionally healthy people know how to openly communicate with each other without judgment, the rewards are immeasurable. And their love for each other grows stronger.

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

`And its very important to stay in the present moment, because our thought patterns in the present moment influence our futures. Overly worrying about the future keeps us away from the present moment, which will then influence our futures to be more unstable. So you just enjoy what you have as much as you can. If someone changes later in the relationship, so be it. But we cannot be worrying if that is going to happen with our current partners, because then for sure the chances of the relationship failing will increase.

[loveternal (deleted)]

Yes. We will deal with the difficulties when they arrive. Worrying about if a relationship will last or break apart is wasting too much time on something that is not even happening. So yes, we must stay in the present moment and enjoy it as it is happening. And as you said, staying in the present moment will influence the future healthiness of that relationship.

[chosnazzy (deleted)]

`This is true. And when a couple is dealing with difficulties, they have a chance to increase their love for each other. And they accomplish this with open and nonjudgmental communication. This kind of communication is always required, regardless of the nature of the situation. But it is especially crucial to have during times of great difficulty. And this requires being in the here and now, the present moment. And that is also investing in the future of the relationship. And when you include the visualization process, as discussed earlier, this nurtures the future of the relationship even more.

[loveternal (deleted)]

`Yes. It is unfortunate that in English, the word "difficulty" connotes something to avoid. When in reality, it is more like a process which is asking to be completed. And it is up to us, if and how we going to do that. And if we choose to complete it by learning and making the best of it, it leads to something still nice. So in the end, it is not something to avoid. But if we choose to avoid "it", we miss an opportunity to nurture our quality of living.

I think when we choose to put labels of good and bad on things, we are limiting ourselves because we are avoiding difficulties thinking in this way, too. Living this way for years slowly starts us to lose sight of the fullness of reality.

[loveternal (deleted)]

`This means there is beauty in difficulty when we choose to learn from it and make the best of the situation.