on-line love/all two real people

[reb67 (deleted)]

it's easy to put a person on a kind of pedastal on line. I met my husband on line. we were "friends" at first and it very rapidly (too rapidly) turned to marriage. in fact we were married before we really knew what being married IS- especially between relative strangers, then progressed a downward spiral. i do believe this was due to the fantasy element that is so easy to develop on line, you dont really see the bad days. to me my husband was always sweet, always there to "listen". to him i was just pretty. pretty isnt so pretty when she is b@tching cause you aren't listening incessantly, and giving romantic cards, emails, ect. And sweet isnt so sweet after a tiring day at work and getting used to someone elses kids in your once was quiet bachelor environment. i cried for home frequently, and developed a deep resentment at his all to apparent being human all the while he withdrew and smoldered at my daily disappointment. so we both created between us a real mess. Then just days before i had decided i have to leave we had a crisis and there was nothing left to do but hide out together waiting for the storm to pass. and thats when i looked at him and there he was..real, forgiving, human- and i loved him. not the words i had come to cherish and miss in clever emails, but all the "small"(?) ways over time, day in and day out his being there..picking up my kids when the school called about a "bad day", giving me green tea and sitting with me when i had a-quite ugly-flu, making sure little things are put in place at night cause he knows it helps me to relax so i can have a peaceful sleep, ect. and him..i guess, still thinking i am beautiful in spite of ugly long days complaining that my expectations weren't met... Then i put my hand on his, he just gave mine a squeeze, and we smiled at eachother.
and i remembered my question almost a year ago, "will you love me forever?".."I already do" he said.
i suppose we finally have fallen in love with eachother--as the real human beings we are when the ordinary day is cleaning house, making dinner and family is calling for bingo money. Thank God to realize this before chasing more fantasies.
i am only sharing this to remind people that love IS out there..it DOES happen...but, man, its work, humility and a lot of forgivness.
take care ya'all

[avvaa05]

`Fo....SHO!
Love is a decision to move into the hard working, self efacing, understanding phases of a relationship.
It's not all hollywood romance and bubblegum happiness. It's embracing each other's humanity and loving them both in spite of and because of their "flaws" and quirks. Finding the humor in life together and holding the willingness to wax while the other wanes truly helps to foster the tying bonds of love. Learning to do life together is what it ultimately comes down to, I think.

I love what you wrote reb! Thank you for sharing your story! )

[reb67 (deleted)]

`Avvaa isn't that the truth! and just personally, i do believe that life with another truly begins when its the day to day reality of being together.

thats why i have been kind of hard on the idea of soul mates here in the forums off and on. its a lovely idea but when someone thinks of thier soul mate...does that include when they fart? or are sitting in front of the television after dinner like a zombie..zoned? or they don't like your best friend? or how about instead of waking to some beauty in the morning sun in her see thru lingerie and thong, she is standing at the foot of the bed in her t-shirt, sweat pants, eyebrows raised asking why you put back a empty container of milk in the fridge.
i feel for lasting happiness in these situations it's good to include the human weaknesses any one of us can have in our lives and relationships..all a work in progress. :)