cabinetmanjoe
cabinetmanjoe
Joined:
March 3, 2008
Posts: 5
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 Posted: Post subject: On spiritual matters and more. |
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Perhaps I will throw a topic out there for discussion yes? Before I begin I will disclose that my opinions are mine only and are open to interpretation and criticism. I have lived long enough to become impartial to the opinions of others but remaining respectful. It might take me a while to get to the topic so sorry in advance. I am an open book.
I would consider myself a spiritual man. Many reasons why I would consider myself spiritual have nothing to do with my beliefs, yet everything to do with how I "live my life." My life tends to be a large contradiction wherein somewhere lies the "truth." Spirituality is a term that is as broad as a horizon and deep as the oceans so I will try to keep my case simple and to the point concerning a few things. The truth about me, where I came from and where I am going. I was born in Arkansas in 1976 to whom I am not sure. I am not sure exactly where I was born but I know it was in Arkansas. I was placed behind a dumpster to be found by a passerby. I was placed in foster care later to be joined with a brother whom is a year 1/2 older than I. We were moved around for quite some time from foster care to foster care and in the end were finally adopted by a loving family whom brought us here to North Carolina. I have lived here ever since. I was blessed to be brought up by a loving family. However, like many many grown men my age that went through what I went through know deep in their hearts that until some things are dealt with, moving on in life and achieving any dreams and goals is impossible. I had to deal with my resentment towards my biological mother and practice a thing called "forgiveness." I learned that forgiveness was for the liberation of my soul, and my heart, and not for the other individual.
To make a long story short, my life up until 3 years ago had been nothing but up and down, rise to the top and then fall. I felt as if I was stuck in many ways. At my lowest point, my greatest painful place, what I call my despair, I started on the road to finally being able to honor who I was as a human being, respecting what life I had left to live once I got out. I finally was able to start practicing forgiveness to those that needed it the most. Basically, I made a choice. For so long I doubted the love of my mother, and other people why? Because I was taught to by being abandoned. Other people can relate I am sure. However there comes a time where it becomes more important to stop playing the victim, and wether you like it or not, life is here. Where am I today ? I can assure you that my fantasy is over, and reality struck me right in the face. Yes I fantasize but only in ways that would benefit my life.
Later, I found out that my biological mother had her own mental issues and drug addiction and despite my own anger and resentment, she was the one living with the "real" guilt and "real" self resentment.That is, if she is still. Through all this pain what happened? I grew!! I grew spiritually and mentally. I grew a stronger person through it all and I have no regrets or bad feelings today. I am grateful for the family and friends that I have, and grateful for this breath, the very breath of life that the universe grants me.
The universe is teaming with life and conspiring to bless me if I just can be open to the blessing.
So my topic was actually “Gratitude." Do I really know what I am grateful for, and if so what would it be. I know that the true meaning of gratitude has nothing to do with everything being hunky dory!!, Yet has everything to do with knowing that even if its real bad, may I never forget where I came from and what "BAD" really is!
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