“Empty Spaces Inside Myself”

[nightchant (deleted)]

“Empty Spaces Inside Myself

The coyote has brought me a message
As I walk through the sleazy back streets
Hear me he says
Let me help you find your way out of your refuge of dreams
Sing your dream song of expressionless images
Let it take you to the edge of your darkness
Before you fall into the blackness of the underworld
To some unknown world down below
He says take my hand and try to understand
Coyote takes me back to the sound of distance voices
Voices in the time of depression
As the earth and sky refuses me
I can only flee too my own sacred place of spiritual silence
Or is it that I am just passing through on the outskirts
Like a soulless wanderer without color
Like the gray soul that used to be my painted desert
Waking to the dream that was left over
Leaving its colorless rainbow on me
Who am I, I dont know
Images of darkness so intense
That I pray for the white man
He sees with closed eyes instead of his heart
He just goes around and around with no understanding
I am unbound, miles from nowhere
Can I claim and regain my Indian individualize self
Pray for grandmother before her beauty is destroyed
Do not deny her honor that the Creator has given her
Do not damn her earthen soul
Just Re-supply me from the marrow of her core
How can I stand against the prayer
Or is my Mother Nature on the run
Manifested wisdom taught in my own narrow spiritual way
Voices so close to heaven with no message
Why is so hard to understand
I use to give so freely
Now civilized, I have forgotten how
What has happen to my sunrise ritual of morning prayers
Without prayer, I have no center
My peyote healing is fading
Like a sacrifice that is going insane
My shame is trapped inside my brain
Only to be discriminated against
I exist without definition
My existence scorn of recognition
Is it me in my head or is it yee nadlooshii refuge
And will its unspoken pain discontinue
Soon I hope

Seeyouma
12/16/96

[seanachi]

`I understand the Voice & Soul of this... Nizhoni